One Day Like This – Elbow, The Seldom Seen Kid
My house has been gripped by a serious case of Olympic Fever – symptoms include a barrage of excitable yelping in what is a traditionally sport-free household, spending hours glued to random stuff like trampolining and beach volleyball (which seems to have captured the imagination of Teenage Son in particular, can’t think why), and a hitherto unknown sense of national pride. Go Team GB! That includes you, medal-class toffs in boats!
Posted by H on August 22nd, 2008 | Filed under HFactor | 5 Comments »The End Where I Begin - The Script
Ooh, I do love a good meem, don’t you? An excellent way to kill a couple of hours on a Sunday evening. This `finish the sentence’ one came from the lovely Anna, who is one of my most favourite people. Once you’d had a read, feel free to pick up the baton yourself. Yes, even you who reads but never comments. Go on, it’s fun.
So, here we go:
Posted by H on August 11th, 2008 | Filed under HFactor | 10 Comments »Broken - Norah Jones, Not Too Late
All is not well. My left foot has swollen up for no apparent reason, so it’s currently propped up on a stool, sporting an icepack and hurting like buggery. In addition, I have just got back from my second trip to Ikea in as many weeks. And to complete this hat-trick of misery, I appear to have developed something suspiciously cystitis-like, thus I am in a permanent state of needing a wee, other than when I actually hobble to the bathroom to have a wee, at which point my loins go up in flames. I had a bikini wax yesterday, so it was a fairly hostile environment to start with.
Woe is me.
Posted by H on August 3rd, 2008 | Filed under HFactor | 5 Comments »Messy - Gabriella Cilmi, Lessons to Be Learned
I am a very poor blogger when the weather is good - it makes me either very lazy (lie still, do nothing, pant like a dog) or very outdoorsy (walk dog, devise elaborate plans for newly- acquired garden, skip through fields with daisies in my hair). None of these are particularly conducive to tapping away at a keyboard, so my blog starts to show signs of neglect. As does my ironing pile, which has now avalanched out of the laundry room. Please come back from holiday, mum, clearly I need you. Oh and happy birthday, by the way.
Posted by H on July 27th, 2008 | Filed under HFactor | 4 Comments »Give It 2 Me - Madonna, Hard Candy
“Mummy? Are you busy?”
Aha. 9-year-old daughter wants something. Otherwise I am `mum’, or nothing at all. And yes, I am busy, as it happens. I have just got back from Ikea, so technically I am in the recovery position.
“No, not really. What do you need?”
“Can we buy the Mail on Sunday today?
Choke. Oh dear god she’s rebelling against the tolerant liberal and open-minded ethos of our household and has gone over to to the dark side where hate and fear and shoddy journalism rule and it may be too late to save her fucking hell.
Posted by H on July 20th, 2008 | Filed under HFactor | 3 Comments »See The Sun - The Kooks, Konk
It’s holiday time. I feel like there should be an exclamation mark here, and perhaps a small wa-hoo, but I’ve just looked at the weather forecast for the coming week and it reads thus:
Sunday: 17°, heavy showers
Monday: 19°, heavy showers
Tuesday: 19°, light showers
Wednesday: 18°, heavy rain
Longer range forecast: unsettled, with some heavy rain.
If my typing gets a little sketchy, it is because my shoulders have slumped so low they are now resting on my keyboard.
Posted by H on July 5th, 2008 | Filed under HFactor | 3 Comments »We’re All In This Together - Cast of High School Musical
I have decided that one day I will write a book entitled `From Aerobics to Zorbing: The A-Z of Things That Are Ill-Advised When You Have A Giant Hangover’. It will include such sage advice as “G is for Gym – attempting to sweat out the lager and Smirnoff Ice Turboshandies you drank last night is a foolhardy endeavour”. I smell a bestseller. Although it might be the lingering whiff of vomit, in fairness.
Until today, H has been for Housework, or Hospital Dramas, or possibly David Hasselhoff, but now I’ve had a re-think.
H, my friends, is for High School Musical.
Posted by H on June 29th, 2008 | Filed under HFactor | 3 Comments »Break The Ice - Britney Spears, Blackout
On Sunday, it will be my daughter’s 9th birthday. Gin and valium, anyone? I’ve started early this year.
Last year, we had a baking party, and I can tell you now that if hell exists it will be paved with flapjacks and full of shrieking little girls. These days small girls are only allowed in my house two at a time, and even then they have to be accompanied by a responsible adult and a gagging order.
This year, we are having an ice skating party at Bristol Ice Rink. Hoorah! I mean, what could possibly, possibly go wrong?
Any predictions?
Posted by H on June 20th, 2008 | Filed under HFactor | 10 Comments »I Love My Chick - Busta Rhymes ft. Kelis
Hard to say when I will ever find time to blog again, because I now have chickens, and they are extemely demanding of my time. But hey, it’s another box ticked on the `how tiresomely middle class am I?’ form. Only the urban 4×4 to go, and I’ll be able to claim my free Cath Kidston tea towel.
In the meantime, and to keep you amused until I have mastered the art of chicken husbandry, one of my blogs has been featured in a book, and if that’s not a good enough reason to buy it (pah), please do so because it’s all for the charity Warchild. I think some bits are quite sad and moving, and other bits more funny (look, I haven’t read it yet - I’m busy with chickens, remember?), but there are some very good bloggers in there so it should be definitely worth a read.
Back soon - Lola, and the other two (as yet unnamed, feel free to make suggestions) are calling me. Coming, ladies!
Hx
** CHICKEN UPDATE ** - We called the other two Henrietta and Myfanwy (the price you pay for marrying a Welshman), and on their third night Lola went missing, and we couldn’t find her and thought she had escaped, and I cried, and then in the morning she was there, pecking about without a care in the world. Turned out she had been hiding in one of our shrubs and had laid an egg!!! So in the space of 12 hours we lost a chicken, found one again and got our first egg. Wa-hoo!
Posted by H on June 15th, 2008 | Filed under HFactor | 4 Comments »Another Planet - Pendulum, Hold your Colour
This week, I have mostly been:
• Enduring the annual living hell that is my daughter’s school musical (this year based on the fables of Rudyard Kipling; who, it turns out, does not make exceedingly good showtunes)
• Being hypnotised on stage by Derren Brown.
• Sat on a sofa discussing the relative comedy merits of the word `cunt’ with Frank Skinner.
• Attending my local village fete.
But which to write about? All these things genuinely happened (ask Gay Best Friend, he was there for three of them, although the lucky bastard entirely managed to avoid the dreadful school musical), but clearly I can’t write about them ALL.
I knew it. You want to hear about the village fete, don’t you? Oh, OK then.
Posted by H on June 7th, 2008 | Filed under HFactor | 4 Comments »